You can't just think your way out of stress...but maybe you can dance your way through.

Written by Boledi Tladi, Counselling Psychologist

“…and when you’re feeling this way, what do you do to help you shift out of it?”is the question I often ask my clients after we’ve spent some time exploring the history and context that they may experience, whatever the feeling may be.

More often than not, I am met with a shrug of the shoulders, a nervous laugh, or the answer given is quite brief or reflects a coping mechanism that can, in the long run, be the thing that also maintains the return of unwelcome feelings.  

We consider feelings as these internal sensations that come alive in us without our say so, and if they’re negative, we feel powerless to them and simply suffer along through, until they pass.

For many of us who do try to do something to shift out of a stress or trigger response, it often looks something like simply trying to think our way out of the feeling—that if we simply change our mindset, that that will do the trick. But cognitive strategies of shifting out of trigger or stress responses are really, only a small part of a larger whole that needs to be supported in shifting out of a stress response.

That larger whole, is your body.

Did you know, that only 20% of the nerves in your nervous system send signals from your brain down to your body? Which is to say that 80% of the nerves in your nervous system send signals from your body to your brain!

What does this mean? It means that no matter how much you might say or think to yourself to “just relax”, “calm down”, or “just focus on the positive”, your brain just cannot override loud and overwhelming flood of stress signals without the support of your body.

In a stress or trigger response, at best, our brains can notice the signals in our environment that tell us we are safe or in danger (and this is why it’s important to know your trigger signs!). 

So, if we can’t think our way out of a stress or trigger response, what can we add to our emotional regulation toolbox that’s missing? Movement.

Our bodies are resourced, replenished and re-balanced by rhythm and movement. The same can be true from stillness and rest, in response to some feeling states. The point is, there are resources or activities we can bring into our self-regulation or self-care practices that call our bodies in as supportive allies to bring ourselves back into presence, groundedness and a sense of balance.

• Meditation and journaling can be great reflective resources for the mind, but if you’re holding a lot of tension and anxiety, shake your body for 5-10 minutes and see how that feels.

• If you’re feeling low or insecure, put some music on and dance.

• If you’re not sure what you’re feeling, do a mindful body scan to help you recognize and contain the feeling.

• If you need some soothing take some time to gently sway side-to-side, take in some mindful breaths, hum to yourself, give yourself a hug, make something or spend some time in nature.

• If you need to clear mental fog, do some breathwork or tap the top of your head and forehead for a few minutes.

• If you’re needing to release feelings of anger, scream into a pillow, alone in your car, or out in the open wild! Punching a pillow or a boxing bag at the gym could help too.

All of this is to say that you can do something about how you feel—you can shake and sing and dance your way through your healing.

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To read more about Boledi and the services she offers, click on the link below. Read more