What does it mean to be?

Written by Shanell Sampson, Counselling Psychologist

I recently heard a line on a podcast that stopped me in my tracks. It felt strangely relevant.It’s been about six months since I’ve found myself anxiously asking: What’s next in my profession?

What goal should I chase to feel accomplished?

What course can I sign up for to feel fulfilled?

And yet, in the meantime…

– My job is deeply rewarding.

– My tiredness has a story; it’s earned.

– I’m being challenged by, and growing with, my clients.

– My car manages to make it to the car wash every two weeks (more or less).

I owe this reflection to a client who once asked me, “Yes… but what does it mean to be?”

It was one of those expansive questions that linger long after a session ends—because we both sensed that it pointed to something beyond physical presence. Beyond the roles we play. Beyond the room we sat in.

A few days later, that question echoed back to me—and transformed my restless wondering about what’s next into something existential.

It reminded me that questions like this don’t just live in the hearts of clients. They live in us, the therapists, too. It became clear: I was about to walk with my client through a terrain I am still learning to navigate myself.

You see, I have this odd reflex: to let fear and anxiety disrupt stillness and flow. I often find myself trading calm for the chaos of striving. And I know I’m not alone. Many of us step onto this performance stage—rehearsing for our careers, our relationships, our friendships—because we’re uncomfortable with the unknown. We crave certainty. And, if we’re honest, we often chase achievement as a way to earn our worth.

While I still have your attention—you’ve read over 300 words—I’ll admit: I worried about the punctuation. I also worried that I wouldn't have an answer to “What does it mean to be?”

Because I don’t.

It’s not a question with a clear or universal answer. It’s honest. It’s emotional. It’s personal.

And if you’ve ever tried to step out of performance and into presence—and felt like you weren’t “getting it right”—that difficulty may actually be the experience of being. The struggle itself is often a sign that you are in contact with yourself.

In mindfulness and positive psychology, being is often described as the act of existing in the present moment, without judgment.It stands in contrast to doing—constantly striving, fixing, improving.

To be is to grant yourself the quiet permission to exist with your thoughts, your feelings, your flaws and your strengths.It’s a gentle but radical act of self-acceptance.

Without that permission, we often find ourselves stuck in self-rejection, low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression.

So, what does being look like in everyday life?Here are five meaningful acts of being—not tasks, but ways of showing up:

1. Being Present

Sitting quietly and fully experiencing the moment—your breath, your sensations, your thoughts—is an act of being.

2. Being Vulnerable

Allowing yourself to be emotionally open, even at the risk of discomfort or rejection, is essential for authenticity and connection.

3. Being Authentic

Living in alignment with your values, needs, and beliefs—even when it’s uncomfortable—is an act of being.

4. Being With Others

Sharing space, presence, or silence with another person—without performance or pretence—is an act of being.

5. Being Aware

Cultivating self-awareness about your thoughts, emotions, and patterns, and how they connect to the world around you, is an act of being.

To be is not always peaceful. Sometimes, it’s messy, uncertain, and tender. But it’s real. And that’s enough.

---

If you want to read more about Shanell and the services she offers, click here.