Helping children navigate change

Written by Daniela Regal, Educational Psychologist

Navigating life’s changes—such as moving to a new home, starting a new school, experiencing parental divorce, welcoming a new sibling, or grieving the loss of a loved one—can be deeply challenging for children.

Unlike adults, children often lack the emotional language and coping tools necessary to make sense of these transitions.

In my work as a psychologist, I have found that it’s not just the event itself that shapes a child’s experience, but how that change is managed. Focusing on the “how” rather than solely the “what” is key to supporting a child’s emotional adjustment.

Three key pillars can support parents in focusing on the “how”: fostering emotional safety and connection, maintaining open communication during times of conflict, and creating predictability and structure. These pillars provide children with the security, clarity, and emotional support they need to navigate change with confidence and resilience.

1.      Fostering Emotional Safety and Connection

A child's ability to cope with stress plays a vital role in how they adjust to major life changes.

Central to this adjustment is emotional connection—children need to feel seen, heard, and reassured to navigate the emotional waves that come with change.

By modeling and teaching healthy coping strategies, parents create a safe space that helps buffer children from overwhelming stressors beyond their control, such as parental conflict or moving homes.

It is crucial to remind children, “This is not your fault, and it’s not your job to fix it,” as many tend to internalize responsibility during difficult transitions.

Emotional safety is built through a caregiver’s calm presence, validation of feelings without rushing to fix them, and consistent warmth. When children feel securely connected, they develop greater resilience and emotional strength to face life’s challenges.

What does this look like?

• Model Healthy Regulation: By showing how you feel and demonstrating healthy emotional regulation, you allow your child to see you manage your own emotions. 

  
  

  “I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed right now. I’m going to take some deep breaths to calm my body.”

• Label and Validate Feelings: Help your child name and understand their emotions without judgment.

  
  

  “You look upset; are you feeling sad?” It makes sense that you might feel sad.”

• Coach Coping Strategies: Guide your child in exploring what helps them feel better. 

  
  

  “I wonder if listening to your favourite music might help you calm down.” 

2.      Open Communication and Conflict Support

Change often brings confusion, questions, and emotional conflict, both internally for your child and within the family. Handling these moments with open, age-appropriate communication fosters trust.

Children benefit from honest conversations where their questions are answered clearly and calmly, even when the topic is difficult. Equally important is modelling healthy ways to manage conflict. When caregivers navigate disagreements with respect and emotional control, children learn that conflict does not have to feel unsafe or chaotic.

What Does This Look Like?

• Arrange Parent Discussions: Avoid discussing sensitive topics in front of your children. If a conversation begins to escalate, agree to pause and revisit it at a more appropriate time. 

• Children Are Not Your Confidants: Keep your emotional struggles away from your children. Instead, confide in a friend or a professional so that your children don’t feel pressured to help you manage your emotions. 

“Yes, I am feeling sad right now, but I will be okay. You don’t need to worry about me.”

• Let Them Love Both Parents: One of the most valuable gifts you can offer your children is the clear message that it’s okay—and encouraged—for them to maintain a loving relationship with their other parent, regardless of your personal feelings during the conflict. Remember, your behaviour often communicates more than your words.

3.      Predictability and Structure

In times of transition, a predictable environment provides children with a sense of control and security. While everything around them may be shifting, consistent routines—like bedtimes, mealtimes, or weekly check-ins—create a rhythm that grounds them.

Structure also involves setting clear, age-appropriate boundaries that remain stable even as circumstances change. This balance of predictability and flexibility allows children to feel anchored, reducing anxiety and supporting their emotional adjustment.

What Does This Look Like?

• Keep Daily Routines Consistent: Even when everything else feels uncertain, maintaining consistent wake-up times, meals, and bedtimes helps children feel secure. 

  
  

  “Even though we’re in a new home, your bedtime routine will stay the same—bath, story, then sleep.”

• Give Advance Notice of Changes: Prepare your child ahead of time when something will be different, such as a new routine or a visit to the other parent’s home. 

  
  

  “Tomorrow you’ll be going to Dad’s after school instead of coming home with me.” 

• Establish Family Rituals: Simple rituals, like family game night or Sunday pizza night, can provide comfort and predictability during transitions. 

By focusing on these pillars, parents can significantly support their children in navigating the emotional challenges that come with change.

If you want to read more about Daniela and the services she offers, click here.