Why do we need to process trauma?

Written by Shanell Sampson, Counselling Psychologist

Some days you have a client step into your office with profound emotional scars stemming from a single harrowing event, and other days you have a client step into your office with profound emotional scars stemming from prolonged exposure to distressing circumstances.  Both these individuals may frequently resort to the instinctual act of suppression of overwhelming feelings like fear, sadness, anger, or helplessness.

Emotional suppression, whether deliberate or unintentional, involves the process of stifling overpowering thoughts and emotions and is frequently regarded as a coping mechanism individuals employ in reaction to traumatic experiences. While emotional suppression may provide temporary relief and a sense of control, it often affects long-term mental well-being.

The pursuit of trauma processing for most of us is trying to scrub everything clean. So that we don’t have a scar or a memory or a reminder. The placement is to dissect ourselves. It seems the better option would be for us is to dissociate in need to leave everything “over there”. I also know what it feels like to want to leave something behind.

We appraise experience as pain, and we have come to believe that pain is our enemy. So, we war against it. None of us are shocked that we still catch a cold. None of us are shocked that we can still break a bone. We know we live in these bodies that are not perfect.

As for emotional pain we say, “I am not supposed to be in pain”. If I am ANGRY. If I am SAD. If I am AFRAID. Our emotional pain is a part of the human experience, too.  

What happens for us when we stop having a sort of one and done experience with our emotional pain?

Is it not a part of the human existence?

When we choose to work on our emotional well-being just as we work on our physical wellbeing, it will change everything.

A single observation of our relationship with emotion and trauma is our tendency to push away the feelings of the child inside us. The feeling that we hold, is that it is something that needs to be pushed aside. The private voice that suggests “it doesn’t matter. It is over. You will get through it. You will get pass it”. We do not make emotions an important part of our lives. Is it perhaps possible that we misunderstood the role of emotion in our lives.

Therapy offers the freedom to see emotions are needed. They are necessary and unlocking!

It is when we engage emotional pain that we allow for it to flow. When we stifle the flow of our emotions, holding in all of these emotions, we slowly break down our nervous system, causing our mental health to diminish.

As an endnote, trauma is intensely physically and psychologically upsetting, and the emotional effects of trauma can be equally distressing. As a result, one may experience extreme difficulty understanding and processing the intensity of the emotions that their trauma elicited.

Let us briefly take a closer look at the emotional effects of trauma.

• Anger – Anger is a very common, normal, and valid emotion to have following a traumatic experience. Trauma triggers anger because trauma is violating in every sense, and it is completely justifiable to be outraged about vulnerability being exploited. While anger can initially be a healthy reaction to trauma, anger can become a traumatic emotion in and of itself. This is because anger often reminds the mind of the reason behind the anger, and in this way long-term anger can lead to re-living and re-experiencing the trauma mentally. Through recovery, that anger can be processed and transformed into acceptance, advocacy, and ultimately, healing. 

  
  

• Shame & Guilt - The dehumanizing and degrading nature of trauma can distort someone’s self-identity and self-worth and leave victims of trauma. The idea that the trauma is the fault of the victim is one of the myths of trauma. The reality is that what happened to you was not your fault at all. There is absolutely nothing you could possibly have done that would warrant or justify what happened.

  
  

• Fear – When trauma overpowers your natural ability to protect yourself, it is normal to feel powerless and afraid. Fear is a natural reaction when coping with the aftershock of a traumatic experience. You were not safe, but you can become safe again. Healing from trauma requires courage, so please do not lose heart. If you are struggling with intense paralyzing fear, please do not suffer alone. Please contact us and we will help you re-establish and re-build your sense of security and safety.

  
  

• Confusion – Confusion is another extremely common emotion to have after experiencing trauma. When a traumatic experience is specifically extreme, the mind can “shut down” as form of survival, and the mind can physically block memories it is unable to process as a form of psychological protection. If you suspect that “something” happened to you, then that is enough to work with. Whether your mind remembers what happened or not, the body has other memory functions. Your body remembers what happened even if your brain does not, and in this way, trauma memories can manifest itself in your life even if you don’t have many or any memories about what happened. Whether you remember what happened or not, your body deserves the opportunity to heal. 

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To read more about Shanell and the services she offers, click on the link below. Read more