Love is more than
just the way you feel.
Love is respect.
Love is vulnerable.
Love is ability to co-exist.
While each couple is definitely unique and experience their own set of relational problems, there are some common themes of problems that couples experience and can bring to therapy.
Communication
Communication is probably one of the most common difficulties that couples experience. Things that impact this might include:
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Difficulties identifying and expressing needs.
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Difficulty labelling emotions.
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Defensiveness.
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Listening to respond, not understand.
Conflict
Conflict can be so hard in relationships and often it can escalate very quickly or be avoided completely. Common problems related to conflict might include:
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Poor communication.
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Being unaware of your own psychological functioning.
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Poor distress tolerance and self-soothing.
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Trauma.
Intimacy
Intimacy and closeness is one of the most valuable elements that sets romantic relationships apart from others. Couples, however, often turn away from each other in difficult times, instead of towards each other. Some intimacy issues can include:
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Different interests.
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Sexual needs being different.
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High stress levels.
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Lack of quality time.
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Trust.
Common relationship problems
Boundaries
Boundaries are one of the most important elements that help us to navigate healthy relationships. Couples may experience difficulty regarding boundaries in the following areas:
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Financial boundaries
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Emotional boundaries
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Physical boundaries
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Boundaries with friends & family
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Individualization
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Sexual boundaries
Trust
Trust is one of the most fundamental elements of a healthy relationship. There can be various issues related to trust including:
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Infidelity
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Financial spending
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Abuse (verbal, emotional or physical).
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Inconsistency
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Unreliability
Couples therapy
Do we really need couples therapy?
This is the question most couples ask themselves and often the reason people wait too long to seek help for their relationships. Any relationship can benefit from being in a couples therapy space. There might be different stages of relational distress, which will determine what the therapy process will focus on mainly. Both healthy and unhealthy relationships can benefit from therapy.
But the short and simple answer is YES, you probably really need couples therapy.
WHEN
When to consider couples therapy:
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You are feeling disconnected from your partner and unable to navigate closeness.
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You are struggling to communicate with your partner effectively.
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Conflict becomes difficult and sometimes even destructive.
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When there has been a breach in trust.
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You are considering separation.
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Both partners are still invested in working on the relationship.
WHO
Who should consider couples therapy:
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A relationship at any stage - dating, engaged or married.
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Monogamous couples, throuples or polyamorous relationships can all benefit from the therapy space.
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Couples from any sexual orientation.
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Couples seeking growth.
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Couples from different cultural backgrounds.
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Couples where one or all parties might suffer from their own mental illness.